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this is me every 3 hours

(Source: gargoyles42)

posted 6 hours ago · 83,295 notes
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*calls 911*

911: hello, 911, what is your emergency?

me: help!! i lost my virginity!!

911: um im sorry.. but.. i dont think..

me: no, i lost my pet, “virginity” its name is virginity !

911: ohhh! xD

me: xD

(Source: surprisebitch)

posted 6 hours ago · 8,749 notes
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(Source: 1dwithblackpeople)

posted 6 hours ago · 198 notes
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posted 15 hours ago · 166 notes
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  #this   #literally this

(Source: uniplusteddy)

posted 15 hours ago · 137 notes
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late night breakdowns are my speciality

posted 15 hours ago · 103,244 notes
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How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:

  • *Man walks into a store and finds employee*
  • Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
  • Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
  • Man: I never filled out an application.
  • Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
  • Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
  • Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
  • Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
  • Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
  • Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
  • Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
  • Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
  • Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
  • Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
  • Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
  • Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
  • Employee:
  • Man:
  • Employee:
  • Man: Fuck you, slut.
posted 15 hours ago · 279,525 notes
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  #this   #literally this


Just a friendly reminder that dedication is not measured by how much merch you have, how many shows you’ve been to, how long you’ve been a fan, or if you’ve met your idol(s). Dedication is about always supporting your favorite band/artist the best way you can.

posted 15 hours ago · 555 notes
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We can talk about that if you want…………….


posted 15 hours ago · 2,119 notes
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(Source: sheeran-usa)

posted 15 hours ago · 438 notes
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